I found a real angry bird today
doctor: so what is bothering u
me: *stares aggressively at mom & waits for her to answer for me*
i dont play assassins creed, but is this like the entire plotline or something??
carried the shit outta u son
*puts my ipod on shuffle and skips every song until i get one i was hoping for*
if i’m ever rich i’m gonna always leave huge tips, like 200%. that’s like the dream. having enough money to give some waitress 40 bucks extra just because she’s nice.
i hate songs that are like 75% bad but the chorus is so good that you suffer through the whole song just to hear one part like three times
wine tastes so bad. I’m convinced the whole world is in on an inside joke together trying to persuade me that wine tastes good to them. there’s no way any one can like the taste of it. it’s like bug spray. the whole frickin world pretends to like bug spray. I don’t understand why. stop the madness
that one kink that no one can ever know about ever